It’s the little things that make me smile, make my soul sing, make me want to wear my sparkly pants.
Here’s a round up of all the little things from my week.
How was your week? Let me know in the comments below.
xo
It’s the little things 12/02/16
The key to being yourself, is knowing yourself
“Just be yourself”
“Don’t be like everyone else”
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken”
We’re bombarded daily by affirmations from people who mean well, are well versed in self help and genuinely want you to feel good about yourself. But not everyone is ready to hear how amazing they are and for some, it’s just downright impossible.
How can you be you, if you’re not sure who you are?
If you’re reading this and you’re really comfortable in your own skin, are in tune with your inner goddess (or god) and are loving life, then I applaud you from the sidelines (pom poms in hand). Feel free to skip this post. You go girl!
However, if you’ve lost your sparkle, struggling to see your worth or in general need of a boost…then I offer these words with compassion and love.
When I was at my lowest I barely made it through the day. I functioned, but lived for the moment I could crawl into my bed and hide away from the world. Everything was an effort as I was consumed with grief. Eventually I didn’t recognise myself, I had lost my sense of ‘me’.
When I realised I couldn’t carry on, I trawled the internet for answers on how to pick myself up from the proverbial rock bottom. It didn’t take long for me to realise there was no quick fix answer!
I had spent months becoming a shell of my former self and now I needed to begin the long and somewhat arduous task of rebuilding.
A very intelligent lady once told me that when caterpillars turn into butterflies, every cell in their bodies break down, they literally become unrecognisable in the cocoon, a primordial soup if you like, before they emerge as a brand new creature. When you hit rock bottom (and lay down on that slab for a while) you can’t go back to who you were – that person no longer exists.
It took a whole lot of digging and cultivating to grow into the new me. But I’m here to tell you it is possible.
First, you have to want to figure out who you are and have the belief that you can do it.
Second, you have to be willing to put in a little effort. You are going to have to question your thoughts and beliefs in all areas of your life and start making choices about what you and your brand stand for.
Thirdly, you need to start! Don’t panic – you can start small, right here right now.
I want you to visualise the very best version of yourself.
This is the person that you’d love to become.
Think about how she holds herself. What do people think when she walks in the room? How do people react towards her?
Think about what she wears? Does she have a particular style or only wear certain things or colours?
What is her personality like? Is she charming, friendly, professional, easy going?
How does she feel about her life? (Remember, this is the best version of yourself – so keep it positive) Is her happiness written all over her face? Is she open to new opportunities? Does she say yes more often? Or no?
Write a list or even better, create a vision board.
Read this article from the Huffington Post about why they work.
Start writing lists about who you are right at this very moment. Write things you like, dislike, need every day..etc. Read this post, this one and this one for some inspiration.
Remember to spend some time reflecting on your lists. This is how you start to get really clear on who you are.
It’s a small start, but we have to start somewhere.
The key to being yourself is knowing yourself.
Knowing the things that make you smile, come alive, look forward to, get enthusiastic about. The things that make your soul sing everyday.
This is a journey.
One with no destination, because you never stop learning, evolving, improving.
How about we hop on this train together?
What To Do When Things Aren’t Going Your Way
You know one of those days when you had it all planned, knew exactly how the day was going to turn out and what you were going to achieve?
Today was not that day.
My plans were hijacked, disrupted and fell apart. I tried to reorganise, rearrange and do the best I could.
But it was not to be.
And, did I comically roll my eyes to the sky, allowing the day to unfold and exercise my skills in flexibility?
I did not.
I became flustered, lost my sense of peace and played ‘catch up’ all day. It was horrible. I felt tense as the day became less productive, drained as I dealt with one difficult situation after another and unworthy as I began to question my ability to make the right choices.
On reflection it’s easy to see where the initial problem started.
I hadn’t expected my day to go this way. I felt out of control.
What I should have done was stop for a minute.
Stop rushing.
Stop trying to continue my original day.
Stop trying to be perfect and remember I am enough.
Instead of being concerned with how I thought people were observing me and how I thought I should be handling my day, what I needed to do was have a little self belief.
Believe that I knew what to do.
Believe that I had within me the ability to do my job with integrity, making the right decisions as each problem presented.
Believe in myself.
How often do we pause from our hectic lives to applaud ourselves, notice when we handle a situation well or compliment ourselves on a job well done?
The more we look for validation outside of ourselves – the more chance we have of being disappointed. By searching within we will make decisions that we believe in, decisions we can stand by. It takes practise to not look to others for the answers, but the more we do it the more confident we will grow.
Who knows you better than anyone?
You do.
Stop and believe.
Things You Need To Know About Me #2
I love words
When I was younger, the visit to the library was the highlight of my week. I would take out the four book allowance (having already devoured two quickies in the corner!) and then put an extra two on my mom’s library card.
Even then I would be hungry a few days later for something new to read.
I was a Martini reader – “…any time, any place, any where…” I even read under the covers with a torch.
I just couldn’t get enough.
Not content with just reading, I also wrote short stories and made them into books – they were about ducks who could talk and creatures from far away lands!
As a young teen I gorged on political thrillers, risqué romance, even the entire works of Sir Conan Doyle! Oh to have had a ‘teen fiction’ genre back then. I would say I missed out – however, having recently read everything in my local library that constitutes a must have for young adults I confess to being fully satiated!
Sadly, as I grew older somehow my idea of writing children’s stories faded. Adult life took over, as it does and my daily diet of literature became stale, infrequent and virtually non existent.
After a particularly bad time in my life I started this journey of self discovery and you guessed it…I started to read again.
I rekindled my love affair with books, ravenously feeding on self help books, graphic novels and anything on the best-sellers list.
Then I remembered my dreams of being a writer.
I wanted to write.
No. I needed to write.
To me, words are inspiring, healing, defining, moving, educating, exciting, relaxing, motivating, connecting.
So I began finding ways to slip words into my daily routine – a bit of journalling here, a handwritten note there. Soon I was hunting for the perfect quote, putting affirmations on the bathroom mirror and having phrases tattooed on my body.
My life was full of words again.
Then I had an idea to start a blog – a reason to write regularly.
I wanted to share my story, share what I had learned , share how I had found my self belief.
The doubts from my teens and early adult life are still there, as I am by no means an expert.
But I write from the heart, sharing my experiences and pain in a bid to help and inspire others.
Each time I hit publish, I wonder if anyone will read my stuff. But it doesn’t stop me because now I write with a purpose and because it makes my soul sing.
Is there something you used to do that you no longer do?
Find a way to add it to your day. It doesn’t have to be momentous but it does have to be something you want to do, something that feels right when you do it.
Something just for you.
Things you need to know about me #1
I found my smile
Five years ago, I had one of those earth shattering experiences that implants itself like a bookmark in your life story. You know the kind where all events are then categorised as “before..” or “after…”
The months and maybe years after said event were a mixture of both blurry, forgotten moments waiting for a memory to be triggered and crystal clear elements that haunted me, popping unannounced into my day.
Today however, does not feel like that.
Today I choose to think only happy thoughts and when my emotions float just below the surface threatening to break through, I pause and acknowledge the feelings. Instead of consuming me, they have their moment and then disappear.
It’s been a long journey.
But I’m here. Stronger than before, authentic and confident too.
I found my smile through journalling, counselling and spending time with myself, searching for the real me.
When you hit rock bottom you have to rebuild yourself.
All of yourself.
It’s hard, but when you’ve experienced pain you have the understanding and courage to share and support others.
I found my smile, I want to help you find yours.
I’m no expert, but I have experience. I don’t know your story, but I’ll share mine. I want to live a happy, fulfilling life and I bet you do to.
The Shimmer Within Her 