“Just be yourself”

“Don’t be like everyone else”

“Be yourself, everyone else is taken”

We’re bombarded daily by affirmations from people who mean well, are well versed in self help and genuinely want you to feel good about yourself. But not everyone is ready to hear how amazing they are and for some, it’s just downright impossible.

How can you be you, if you’re not sure who you are?

If you’re reading this and you’re really comfortable in your own skin, are in tune with your inner goddess (or god) and are loving life, then I applaud you from the sidelines (pom poms in hand). Feel free to skip this post. You go girl!

However, if you’ve lost your sparkle, struggling to see your worth or in general need of a boost…then I offer these words with compassion and love.

When I was at my lowest I barely made it through the day. I functioned, but lived for the moment I could crawl into my bed and hide away from the world. Everything was an effort as I was consumed with grief. Eventually I didn’t recognise myself, I had lost my sense of ‘me’.

When I realised I couldn’t carry on, I trawled the internet for answers on how to pick myself up from the proverbial rock bottom. It didn’t take long for me to realise there was no quick fix answer!

I had spent months becoming a shell of my former self and now I needed to begin the long and somewhat arduous task of rebuilding.

A very intelligent lady once told me that when caterpillars turn into butterflies, every cell in their bodies break down, they literally become unrecognisable in the cocoon, a primordial soup if you like, before they emerge as a brand new creature. When you hit rock bottom (and lay down on that slab for a while) you can’t go back to who you were – that person no longer exists.

It took a whole lot of digging and cultivating to grow into the new me. But I’m here to tell you it is possible.

First, you have to want to figure out who you are and have the belief that you can do it.

Second, you have to be willing to put in a little effort. You are going to have to question your thoughts and beliefs in all areas of your life and start making choices about what you and your brand stand for.

Thirdly, you need to start! Don’t panic – you can start small, right here right now.

I want you to visualise the very best version of yourself.

This is the person that you’d love to become.

Think about how she holds herself. What do people think when she walks in the room? How do people react towards her?

Think about what she wears? Does she have a particular style or only wear certain things or colours?

What is her personality like? Is she charming, friendly, professional, easy going?

How does she feel about her life? (Remember, this is the best version of yourself – so keep it positive) Is her happiness written all over her face? Is she open to new opportunities? Does she say yes more often? Or no?

Write a list or even better, create a vision board.

Read this article from the Huffington Post about why they work.

Start writing lists about who you are right at this very moment. Write things you like, dislike, need every day..etc. Read this post, this one and this one for some inspiration.

Remember to spend some time reflecting on your lists. This is how you start to get really clear on who you are.

It’s a small start, but we have to start somewhere.

The key to being yourself is knowing yourself.

Knowing the things that make you smile, come alive, look forward to, get enthusiastic about. The things that make your soul sing everyday.

This is a journey.

One with no destination, because you never stop learning, evolving, improving.

How about we hop on this train together?