The busyness barometer

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How are you?

Ask anyone how they are these days and “Busy!” is likely to be the standard answer.

Expectations from work, home and ourselves are increasing along with our stress levels. It’s almost like a badge of honour – if you’re not busy there’s something wrong. Multi tasking – the skill of doing more than one thing at the same time has almost become a national sport. But is it a skill, is it helpful or productive?

Yes sometimes – I like to to fold the washing whilst watching tv or wash up whilst cooking tea. The quicker I do the boring chores the better!

But other times not so much.

How often have you made telephone calls whilst eating lunch or updated your Facebook page whilst talking to your kids? Is this because we are genuinely busy or more because we feel the pressure of always needing to be seen to be busy?

I’m beginning to think it’s ‘de valuing‘ what we spend time doing. I wonder how valued your kids felt when they realised they didn’t have your undivided attention? How valuable did you see time spent eating your lunch when you realised you’d eaten it but not actually tasted any of it because you were so distracted?

Have you ever tidied up and then can’t remember where you have placed things? Lately this has happened to me a lot! I have misplaced things, forgotten where I’ve put stuff and generally felt I’m spending more and more time trying to get organised. I know I’m being less productive because my mind is jumping from one job to another. I think it’s because I’m in “I’m so busy” mode and can’t find a way out!

Our lives are so busy as we struggle to fit everything in and our minds are so busy we forget stuff, compromise our standards and rarely feel the satisfaction for a job well done.

I wonder, how long do you think we can keep this up for?

If our heads are as full as our calendars, where is the time for spontaneous acts of fun, enjoying the feeling of satisfaction after a productive day, self care, rest and relaxation?

I need white space in my calendar – it’s where my best ideas are formed, it’s the place I recharge my battery, it’s where I remember stuff!

Confucius said, Wherever you go, go with all your heart– it’s a good mantra to live by don’t you think? I’d like to add “…and with all of your mind.”

In some Asian countries the word for heart is the same as the word for mind. Coincidence? I think not.

If you’ve read any of my previous stuff, I’m always banging on about slowing down and noticing stuff. If you want to read more on this subject try this post.

I’m challenging you to stop being so busy (or at least stop talking about how busy you are), start giving things your undivided attention, start to slow down. 

Choose one thing today that you can do and give it your full attention. If your mind wanders, it’s okay. Let the thought pass by and bring your focus back to the job at hand without judgement  – that’s mindfulness. Here’s a few easy ideas to try in your everyday routine…

~ eat a meal and truly taste every mouthful ~ go for a walk and really notice stuff ~ give someone your undivided attention ~ in the shower really focus on the water cleansing your body ~ take 5 minutes to just sit in silence ~ brush your teeth and really think about what you’re doing ~

So, let’s set ourselves apart from the crowd – let’s be fully present, mindful and do stuff whilst really thinking about what we’re doing. People will notice (because it’s different to what they’re doing) and you will feel happier and calmer – guaranteed.

Let’s be less busy.

A simple exercise to help in difficult times

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Years ago, I sat at a place called rock bottom and I didn’t know who I was.

I had lost all sense of the person I once was. I was numb for the longest time and wandered aimlessly through my day. I had been stripped bare – the person I once was no longer existed.

Thankfully after some time (the biggest healer), some counselling (difficult but necessary) and a lot of self love (the most important thing you can do for yourself), I started to rebuild a stronger, more authentic version of myself.

As part of this process I questioned  everything I used to know or do. Every day I wondered, who I was and who I was going to become?

I knew I wasn’t the person I used to be – grief had literally changed every element of my life and I needed to find myself again.

So I started to write lists.

It was that simple.

In a (sometimes) desperate attempt to regain control and believe that I hadn’t lost my mind, I compiled list after list of things that I knew to be true; lists of my favourite things, how I wanted to look, my values, things that annoyed me, memories, things that made me smile and so on. 

It seems so simple looking back – yet these exercises helped me rebuild the ‘new’ version of myself and these exercises helped me believe. Believe that I would survive the storm, that deep down I still knew myself even if it was a different version.

So, why do I share this with you?

Because I know I’m not the only person to have ever gone through this. But I went through it alone and I would have given anything for someone to have shared their story with me. If you can identify with what I’m saying, I want you to know you are not alone and I’m sharing my story with you. Even if these exercises aren’t what you need right now, I want you to believe in something.

Believe you can survive one more day.

Believe you will become strong again.

Believe you are still you deep down – even if you’re having trouble seeing it.

So ask yourself today “What do I believe in?”

Make a simple list of your beliefs, things that are true for you right now. Make it as personal as you like, short as you like, colourful as you like, about whatever you like.

Acknowledge what’s going on for you right now and reflect on what comes to the surface. It’s a starting point. And sometimes that’s enough.

All the answers you’ll ever need are waiting to be realised, waiting to be released.

I said that.

I still make lists, you can read about my love of lists here. But today, I can summarise where I’m at in one beautiful list.

I believe

in a thing called love ~ everything is an opportunity for learning ~ I am enough ~ eventually the sun will shine ~ you should unfriend unfriendliness ~ a kind word can change someone’s day ~ in being true to yourself ~ you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else ~ being afraid can help you grow ~ you need to work on your self esteem every single day ~ I am going to make mistakes and that’s okay ~ life is to be enjoyed ~ sometimes you need to put yourself first ~ in a little extra effort ~ happiness is a choice ~ excitement should be pursued ~ you know more than you think you do ~ in the magic of a new day ~ inspiration is there to be found ~ life lessons are repeated until you learn them ~ tears are healing ~ you don’t need as many friends as you think you do ~ you should listen to your heart ~ in opportunities ~ I am strong enough ~ other people’s opinion of you is none of your business ~ authenticity is more attractive than perfection ~ gratitude is the key to everything ~

I believe these things with all my heart. They are true for me even if they’re not for you.

What do you believe in?

It’s the little things 17/04/16

It’s the little things from the last 7 days that have inspired me, filled me with energy, humbled me and made me feel down right unstoppable!

Here’s a round up of all the amazingness from my week

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Best. Mascara. Ever.
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Surprise stay booked for next week (Thanks hubby)

 

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Remembering the good times

 

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100 followers on Instagram – “from little acorns mighty oaks do grow” (American proverb)

 

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My new business cards

 

I’ve felt humbled and excited this week by my ‘firsts’ – I’m still such a newbie to blogging but boy am I loving it.

Wonder what’s got you excited this week? Let me know.

Hugs xoxo

What is beauty?

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Define beauty.

The dictionary states it as something “…that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight:”

For me, beauty is more than pleasing, it’s something that takes my breath away. I feel beauty in a way I can’t always put into words. For me it’s overwhelming. It’s a sight so mesmerising that I can’t look away; a piece of music that brings tears to my eyes; an act of love that makes my insides tingle and my heart swell.

Here is a handful of things that I find truly beautiful…

~ genuine smiles ~ vintage crockery ~ spontaneous gift giving ~ laughter ~ wrapped presents, particularly homemade ones ~ a random text enquiringly after my wellbeing ~ a sunset on the beach ~ movie soundtracks ~ handmade chocolates ~ glass chandeliers ~ fields of wild flowers ~ handwritten notes ~ children’s paintings ~ proper hugs ~ the perfect quote ~

So I ask you, what would you put on your list?

If you’re in a place at the moment, where you feel it’s just too difficult to see anything beautiful – hang in there. Challenge yourself daily, to find one thing that you would call beautiful. It could be as simple as the mug you drink your morning coffee from, a bird flying across your garden or the sun shining through your window.

Beauty is as individual as we are.

What is your idea of beautiful? How can you incorporate more of this in your life?

Have a beautiful day , you beautiful creature.

xoxo

 

Unexpected things that happen when you start working out

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There are a couple of things you expect to happen when you make serious lifestyle changes. For example, you want to become fitter, feel healthier and lose weight.

No surprises so far?

A little under a year ago I introduced a healthy eating plan and started working out regularly  and that’s what happened to me – I lost 2 stone , dropped 3 dress sizes and feel pretty good most of the time.

Result.

However, along the way a few things happened that I wasn’t prepared for. So, here’s a list of 7 unexpected things that might happen when you start working out…

Sunday afternoons are for food prep

Yep, you can no longer go out on a Sunday afternoon. No, you will instead spend most of the afternoon grilling large batches of chicken breast, steaming vast quantities of broccoli and cooking more rice than your local takeaway, just to see you through the next week. Not to mention the drama of matching food tubs to their lids…

You have to check out the fitness section of every clothes store

I so don’t want to be that girl at the gym (the one who is so coordinated even her trainers match) but I gotta tell you, I’m getting very close!

You start watching videos of people working out

Not only are half the people you now follow on social media fitness models and trainers, but you also watch videos of them working out. You also get envious when they receive large deliveries from sponsors showing you what they’ll be wearing and eating all next month.

You have like, a million water bottles

I had no idea there were so many. Ones with sports lids, sip spouts, metal balls and filters to mix your drinks better or keep fruit in place. There are battery operated mixers, ones that are impossible to knock over and they obviously all come in plenty of colours to match every gym outfit you own…

You crave chicken not cupcakes

Seriously. You substitute one addiction for another. Bye bye cravings for something sweet and hello I need chicken. Like really need it. Now. Cold from the fridge.

You get excited about the smallest ways to spice up your chicken and rice

Who knew there were so many seasonings and peppers and spices to add flavour to the daily grind known as chicken and rice. We had so many restaurant chain hot sauces bought for us as gifts at Christmas. Friends compete to see who has the hottest pepper sauces and trade them like contraband. Anything to make you feel like you’re eating something novel.

You ache. Every. Single. Day.

I expected a little ache – regular exercise after 42 years of sitting on the sofa was bound to have a price. However, I was not prepared for at least one sore muscle group every day.

Getting fit and healthy was still one of the best decisions I ever made – the benefits obviously outweigh the negatives (even the things I didn’t expect to happen) and this post was written in good humour as a shout out to all the like minded people.

You know what I’m talking about.