Who am I?

When will you be happy?

~ Nicky M ~ Leave a comment

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If I asked you this…could you give me an answer?

Perhaps it would be…when I have the job of my dreams, when I find my Prince Charming, when I lose half a stone, when the kids have grown up, when the house is finished, next week, next month, next year….

When, when, when…

What if we acknowledged that all we have is right now? 

This very minute. Would you be able to find happiness? Could you look at this moment with different eyes?

Happiness – it’s about enjoying where you are, on the way to where you’re going. 

I said that.

Happiness comes from within. It’s a choice…right here, right now, whatever your situation. Stop looking for the ‘when‘ and lean into the ‘now‘.

Be happy with who you are, where you are, with what you have.

Why not be happy now?

What’s the worst that can happen?

P.S  Check out my weekly series It’s the little things  where I share with you all the things that have made me happy.

A simple exercise to help in difficult times

~ Nicky M ~ 12 Comments

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Years ago, I sat at a place called rock bottom and I didn’t know who I was.

I had lost all sense of the person I once was. I was numb for the longest time and wandered aimlessly through my day. I had been stripped bare – the person I once was no longer existed.

Thankfully after some time (the biggest healer), some counselling (difficult but necessary) and a lot of self love (the most important thing you can do for yourself), I started to rebuild a stronger, more authentic version of myself.

As part of this process I questioned  everything I used to know or do. Every day I wondered, who I was and who I was going to become?

I knew I wasn’t the person I used to be – grief had literally changed every element of my life and I needed to find myself again.

So I started to write lists.

It was that simple.

In a (sometimes) desperate attempt to regain control and believe that I hadn’t lost my mind, I compiled list after list of things that I knew to be true; lists of my favourite things, how I wanted to look, my values, things that annoyed me, memories, things that made me smile and so on. 

It seems so simple looking back – yet these exercises helped me rebuild the ‘new’ version of myself and these exercises helped me believe. Believe that I would survive the storm, that deep down I still knew myself even if it was a different version.

So, why do I share this with you?

Because I know I’m not the only person to have ever gone through this. But I went through it alone and I would have given anything for someone to have shared their story with me. If you can identify with what I’m saying, I want you to know you are not alone and I’m sharing my story with you. Even if these exercises aren’t what you need right now, I want you to believe in something.

Believe you can survive one more day.

Believe you will become strong again.

Believe you are still you deep down – even if you’re having trouble seeing it.

So ask yourself today “What do I believe in?”

Make a simple list of your beliefs, things that are true for you right now. Make it as personal as you like, short as you like, colourful as you like, about whatever you like.

Acknowledge what’s going on for you right now and reflect on what comes to the surface. It’s a starting point. And sometimes that’s enough.

All the answers you’ll ever need are waiting to be realised, waiting to be released.

I said that.

I still make lists, you can read about my love of lists here. But today, I can summarise where I’m at in one beautiful list.

I believe

in a thing called love ~ everything is an opportunity for learning ~ I am enough ~ eventually the sun will shine ~ you should unfriend unfriendliness ~ a kind word can change someone’s day ~ in being true to yourself ~ you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else ~ being afraid can help you grow ~ you need to work on your self esteem every single day ~ I am going to make mistakes and that’s okay ~ life is to be enjoyed ~ sometimes you need to put yourself first ~ in a little extra effort ~ happiness is a choice ~ excitement should be pursued ~ you know more than you think you do ~ in the magic of a new day ~ inspiration is there to be found ~ life lessons are repeated until you learn them ~ tears are healing ~ you don’t need as many friends as you think you do ~ you should listen to your heart ~ in opportunities ~ I am strong enough ~ other people’s opinion of you is none of your business ~ authenticity is more attractive than perfection ~ gratitude is the key to everything ~

I believe these things with all my heart. They are true for me even if they’re not for you.

What do you believe in?

3 things flowers have taught me about living an authentic life

~ Nicky M ~ Leave a comment

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My love of flowers is well documented on my Instagram account.

There’s something so beautiful about a flower when I look at it through a camera lens that I can’t help but smile.

“Bloom, in your own space and at your own pace”

I said that

Flowers don’t concern themselves with what every other plant in the garden is doing. They do what they do best and bloom where planted.

Starting to live a more authentic life can be daunting. It’s about assessing which elements of your life no longer serve you or fit in with who you are becoming. You can feel lonely, even misunderstood or struggle to fit in where you once belonged. You may even encounter resistance from people who don’t want you to change.

If you’re wondering if it’s all worth it, here are 3 thoughts to keep you motivated and reassure you that any path that takes you closer towards the best version of yourself is one that’s worth walking down.

Bloom

Be who you are. Stand out, grow tall, bloom. Be there as the truest version of yourself, not pretending or trying to be like anyone else. Be extraordinary, whatever your role – be great at it. Put effort into all you do, even if no one is watching. Commend yourself on a job well done and remember to love yourself in all your uniqueness.

In your own space

Wherever you are – be amazing. Claim your space. Your home, your work, your ideas. Don’t be concerned with what others are doing alongside of you. Focus on you and your little piece of the world. Make it work for you. Make it beautiful, fill it with things that inspire you, make you smile. Surround yourself with like minded people. Find your tribe, people who have great energy, who are great to be around.

At your own pace

Keep growing, always moving closer to your goals. Your journey is unique to you. Don’t be concerned with what anyone else is doing or how they’re doing it. Don’t compare yourself to someone else. Don’t run before you can walk but also don’t focus on the finish line. The learning is in the journey. The path may not be straight and have boulders in the way, but it will be worth it. Change happens slowly and one step at a time. Keep going.

One last point, do it. Do it now. Nothing lasts forever.

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March challenge: selfies

~ Nicky M ~ Leave a comment

In a bid to step outside of my comfort zone, this months challenge was to see if I could (read would) photograph myself every day for a week and post the pictures on Instagram.

Now, I’m not camera shy however I’m not particularly au fait with selfies!

Selfie day1       selfie day2       selfie day4

After my first day I thought about throwing in the towel. It was harder than I thought it would be and I realised a few things about myself.

I’m uncomfortable with being the centre of attention – I didn’t like being the only object in the picture (although, see if you can spot the photo of my brother sneaking in there!)

I’m a little vain – I only took one picture of myself with no make up and I had to force myself to post it!

 selfie day 4a     selfie day7     selfie day6

Taking selfies is harder than it looks – Some days I took many, many photos before I was happy – who knew natural light was so important!

I’m uncomfortable letting the world in – showing parts of my home left me feeling vulnerable.

I experience a plethora of emotions each morning – I really do!

Completing a project is great for your self esteem – I was really chuffed with myself for finishing it.

A challenge is only scary the first time you do it – I actually feel okay about selfies now.

selfie ig

Some of the photographs are blurry, off centre slightly, and the lighting is a bit hit and miss. But they’re all me. Real and in the flesh. Authentic, unaltered and original. This experience was good for me. It challenged me, taught me and helped me.

What will take you outside your comfort zone? 

You may be surprised at what you learn – about your fears, your limits, about yourself.

Go for it!

Follow me on Instagram (@shimmerwithin)

Do you have anything nice to say?

~ Nicky M ~ 3 Comments

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 “If you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say anything at all”

I overheard someone berating a child on how to speak to others recently.

It is quite true actually. We shouldn’t speak unless it’s kind, ‘all things with love’ and all that.

But lately, I’m wondering about this.

I wonder what percentage of our thoughts and words about ourselves are positive?

I wonder how often we gravitate towards the ‘this will never happen’ thought rather than the ‘why would it not’?

I wonder how often we reprimand ourselves for something we didn’t do well instead of praising ourselves for a job well done?

I wonder how often we compare ourselves to someone prettier, cleverer, taller, slimmer rather than celebrating our uniqueness?

I wonder how much of our time is spent wishful thinking instead of practising gratitude for what we have?

I wonder when people pay us compliments, how often do we brush them off instead of a simple smile and ‘thank you’?

A clever lady once said, “You become your thoughts”.

If this is true – what are you becoming?

Start to notice your thoughts and whether they are mostly positive or negative.

Catch yourself speaking negatively about yourself (out loud or in your mind) and tell yourself ‘STOP’ then re-frame it into something positive.

You don’t have to think every thought that pops into your head.