Who am I?

August 9, 2016September 4, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 4 Comments

I am…

…sometimes grumpy, sad, insecure, afraid.

…sometimes excitable, caring, fun, happy.

…sometimes full of life, looking forward, seeing the opportunities in each day.

…sometimes weary, lethargic, frustrated, can’t be bothered.

…sometimes loved up, wanting to spend time with hubby, pretending we’re grown ups.

…sometimes afraid, want to hide away from the world, not deal with anything.

…sometimes mom, guiding, supporting, education my beautiful children.

…sometimes lonely, overworked, feel a failure.

…sometimes enjoy good company, smiling, laughing, making memories, having fun.

…sometimes I need to be alone, quiet, reflective, in my own space.

…sometimes I get dressed up to the nines, sometimes I lounge around in my pj’s.

This is me.

Who are you?

Why You Should Say Thank You to Children

July 28, 2016July 27, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 13 Comments

Anyone who works with children will understand the roller coaster ride of emotions you experience over the course of a school year.

Whilst I love my job, working with children can make you feel tired, sad, worried, stressed, daunted, unfunny, a failure, out of touch, old, emotional and rubbish at your job.

Sad but true.

However, you learn so much when you work with children. You get to see things from their many perspectives – straightforward and complicated, innocent and streetwise, selfish and caring.

I’ve learned over the years to take children just as they are.

By adopting this approach you allow yourself to see the world through their eyes. Not to judge them, but to understand why they may behave a certain way, gain insight into their experiences of life so far and to appreciate the little things they do in all their simplicity.

Here are a few examples of the wonderful moments I’ve noticed when with children:

Excitement – is what you experience when say you will get the Lego out during wet play

Generosity – is being given ten drawings by the same child

Happiness – the face that literally lights up when you thank them for something they did

Motivation – children working together to tidy up quickly so we have time for a game

Creativity – 30 children, a whole afternoon, plain old white paper and a box of crayons…

Compassion – half the class offering to take the child who has fallen over to first aid

Appreciation – the handmade card at the end of the year

Humour – because kids are funny. Period

Wisdom – need to know anything about Minecraft? Ask a child.

Courage – for some, just showing up every day

Friendship – navigating the trials and tribulations of the school playground

Confidence – anyone can blossom with a little support

It is a privilege to work with children and young people. Hard, but a privilege none the less.

So I want to say thank you to all the amazing children out there.

I never miss an opportunity to say it, and I want you to say it too.

Children are fabulous educators and the positives far out way the negatives.

Thank them for all they are teaching you.

Share your stories of what lessons children have taught you below. I can’t wait to read them.

One Simple Truth you Need to Increase Your Happiness

July 21, 2016July 21, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 17 Comments

How happy are you?

How do you define happiness?

On a scale of 1 – 10 or I’ll be happy when..?

What does happy look like to you?

To me, it’s my kids…food in my cupboard…time spent alone…a good book…pottering in the garden…helping someone find their smile…surprise gifts…chocolate cake…

What’s stopping you from being completely happy?

Your situation? Other people? Lack of time? Or money?

All of the above?

The thing is, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be happy, that we rarely spend any time doing it! You can read books on how to be happy, attend workshops to help you find your happiness, listen to guided meditations….the list goes on.

Did you ever wonder why some people seem to just be happy, no matter what life throws at them?

I’m guessing it’s because they’ve realised one simple truth…

“Happiness is a choice”

No, honestly it is.

And it starts once you realise that life isn’t about being perfect.

We get stressed and upset when things don’t go our way or how we had planned them. We tell ourselves that if it goes this way we will be happy. We let circumstance dictate our happiness.

We decide that there is only one perfect outcome and anything less than this is wrong and therefore we will be unhappy.

Do you see how crazy that is?

ONE perfect outcome and A MILLION ways to get it wrong. So basically you’re giving yourself a million to one chance to be happy everyday!

Let’s start flexing our flexibility bone people. There isn’t a perfect way to live. It’s nigh on impossible to be perfect all the time – and why would you want to?

We are human beings. We mess up. We make mistakes. We change our minds. We get stuff wrong. We say the wrong thing. We make wrong decisions. We create chaos.

It’s what makes us human.

Stop striving to be perfect, don’t judge others, start paying attention to the little things that make you smile, be grateful, do stuff for other people, look after yourself more, decide every morning that you’re going to be happy and start enjoying life exactly as it is.

You’ll be amazed at how happy you can be, once you make your mind up.

I don’t need you to like me!

July 19, 2016July 18, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 29 Comments

“Other people’s opinion of you is none of your business”, I once told my daughter.

It was born out of a conversation we were having about peer pressure and the trials and tribulations of navigating teenage relationships.

I could identify.

As an unconfident teenager I was constantly seeking approval from my peers, desperately trying to fit in.

I changed my look to theirs, went places they went to, I compromised, I agreed to things I didn’t want to and allowed myself to be used by people who pretended to be my friend when it suited them.

If only I could go back and tell my younger self to walk away.

That it would be better to be alone than in such damaging relationships; that none of these people ‘had my back’ and that I was wasting my time – they were never going to like me the way I wanted them too.

It all changed for me when I started dating a boy from another school and gained a whole new set of friends They were real friends who weren’t concerned with how I looked, what music I listened to and actually championed each other’s individuality and definitely had each other’s backs.

Then, do you know what happened?

I became desirable.

That’s right! My ‘so called’ friends wanted to hang out with me and my new friends. They wanted invites to the things I was doing and places I was going.

So, what had caused this enormous shift? I hear you ask…

It was simple.

I stopped caring what they thought of me.

I realised that their opinion of me was holding me back. So I told myself that I didn’t need them to like me.

I shifted the focus onto myself and became more concerned with my thoughts and my behaviour and less about theirs. I had become more confident in myself and stopped looking for validation elsewhere; which in turn made them want to know more about me as I was no longer an open book who was easy to read.

It was the start of a beautiful relationship with myself.

I had discovered the power that is unleashed when you realise that your opinion is the only one you should listen to.

Deep down you know.

You know how to be authentic.

You know how you wish to be seen.

You know your desires, wishes and dreams.

You know how you want to feel when you wake up each morning.

You know the kind of life you want to live.

People can be quick to give an opinion, criticise or gossip. Almost everyone has an opinion on everyone.

But you cannot let those opinions stop you from being who you’re meant to be, doing what you love or following your dreams.

When I’m upset by something someone has said or done – I go back to the mantra “It says more about them than it does me”. You don’t have to speak every thought that pops into your head – unless it’s a kind one, compliment or praise. I try to see why they may have said what they did, whether their intention was to harm or not.

I try to not take things personally any more. I know where my life needs improving; I don’t need you to point it out thank you very much. And if I do need a little prompt – do it with love.

I wonder, where in your life do you find other people’s opinions of you are holding you back?

Stop spending your energy on people who are holding you back and start devoting it to someone who truly deserves to be liked by you.

You.

I am not apologising!

March 17, 2016July 2, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 2 Comments

Were the words I heard recently, fiercely announced from behind a display of breakfast cereal.

A harassed looking woman was clearly trying to be ‘Super Nanny’ in the middle of a busy supermarket on a wet Saturday afternoon…unsuccessfully I might add. I gave her one of those sympathetic ‘we’ve all been there’ smiles of encouragement as I passed by.

There are times when I wish I could be that child, stamp my feet, hold my ground and not apologise for something I did or didn’t do.

How many times has someone bumped into you and you apologised, even though it wasn’t your fault?

How often do you fail to meet deadlines and apologise, even though the target was unrealistic in the first place?

How frequently have you felt taken advantage of, and apologised for your less than stellar performance, when you really didn’t want to do it in the first place?

I wonder how many of us fail to speak up when something clearly is amiss?

How many of us feel guilty for loving something even though it may be seen as not age appropriate, lady-like or not what everyone else is doing?

How many of us do things because we feel we should?

I’m guessing quite a few of us.

We receive pressure from many areas of our lives. The stresses and strains clear on many of our faces.

These pressures can leave us feeling guilty for choosing to spend time doing what we enjoy, acting a certain way or wanting things to be different.

“Let’s be proud of the quirky, sometimes inappropriate little things we do that excite us, make us smile and just make the day a whole lot easier to get through!”

I am not apologising for wearing red lipstick every day 💋 frowning when people forget their manners 💋 listening to heavy metal 💋 saying no when I need to 💋 going to bed before 9 o’clock 💋 lighting candles for no reason 💋 drinking too much coffee 💋 asking for clarity when I don’t understand the question 💋 not being able to drive 💋 nor speak a second language 💋 needing a hug every day 💋 thinking motorbikes are sexy 💋 buying heels I can’t walk in 💋 reading teenage fiction 💋 ignoring the telephone 💋 buying handbags I will never use 💋 not ironing…the list could go on and on.

This is who I am right now.

These are the things that make me, me and I’m going to continue to do them for as long as necessary.

Let’s all take a minute to release our inner four year old (tantrum optional) and share some of the little day to day things we feel passionately enough about that we’re not going to stop doing for anyone.

In your journey of self discovery, what are you not apologising for?

Nicky xo