Observing kindness all around you

May 22, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 7 Comments

Week 2 of the kindness challenge was to notice kindness going on around you.

I’m a positive person so my mind is naturally wired to look for the good stuff anyway – but I was pleasantly surprised at just how much good stuff you see when you decide to focus on it. I noticed many small acts of kindness – offers of help, kind gestures and words of support; but one act sat deep within my heart.

As a therapeutic play worker I spend a large proportion of my day sorting out friendship issues – most of them involving teaching empathy and compromise.

This week I observed a group of children on the playground playing a game of cricket. One child was sat a little distance away from the group clearly upset. When I asked what was up, he said that he had missed his turn to bat and now the group had said he would have to wait until it came around again. As I was speaking to him, a few boys from the group came over (probably fearful they were going to be in trouble!) I explained to the boys what the child had said, noting how upset he clearly was and wondered if anyone could come up with a solution to the problem.

Three boys walked away instantly.

The rest stood silently.

Then one boy said that the upset child could take his place in the line and have his turn at batting. The child agreed, thanked the boy and the game resumed play.

This sounds great doesn’t it? But no big deal – it happens daily on playgrounds across the world, yes?

But what if I told you that this particular child, the one who gave up his turn, was a child that was regularly in trouble for fighting, found maintaining relationships difficult and had very little concept of compromise or empathy.

Later in the day, after praising the boy for his actions, I asked him what had prompted him to act in that way. He replied that he remembered a time when someone had helped him when he was upset and how it had changed his day for the better and even though he really wanted his turn he knew that it would help the other child have a happier day and it was the right thing to do.

He was right, it was the thing we encourage children to do – but the fact that he realised, without prompting, the impact his actions would have on the young mans happiness was astounding to me. Because I was the person who had helped him when he was upset, unsuccessfully I thought until now, to improve his behaviour and understanding this past 8 months.

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Kindness does change people – even if you have to spend a long time undoing learned behaviour first.

If you look for it, there is a lot of kindness going on around you. It’s easy to focus on the dramas at work, crisis in our lives and chaos in our world.

Take a moment to look, really notice kind the gestures that happen every day. Ignore the news, forgo reading the newspaper and enjoy the little things in your lives.

When you notice them, I hope they warm your heart, soften your words and increase your belief that people are fundamentally kind.

Sending kind vibes your way to see you through the week.

If you’ve felt inspired to join the challenge – check out Niki’s blog The Richness of a Simple Life for all the details.

Starting the day with kindness

May 17, 2016July 4, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 5 Comments

The Kindness Challenge – week 1

This week was all about starting the day with kindness – to yourself. In principle, I’m pretty good at self kindness; I get up early so I can have some time to write, exercise or just sit and enjoy the quiet.

However, I found initially, I was trying to ‘do’ kindness to myself. I felt the pressure to say something nice or think kind thoughts about myself – which was ridiculously hard. I had set my intentions a little high. So, after a couple of days of unsuccessful trying, I went back to the list I had written in my first post and decided to pick 1 and start from there.

I like affirmations and quotes but find them difficult to say out loud. So I spent some time finding quotes and adding them to some of my photographs – it was a great way to start my day.

Later in the week I felt inspired to put together a display at work with the children, exploring being your own kind of beautiful and do some art journaling.

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After a few days, I decided to start someone else’s day with kindness – so every morning I sent one person a ‘Hope you have a good day‘ message. Everyone replied back with wishes of the same or a heartfelt ‘Thank you‘and I felt I had shared the love. It shows how by just adding one element of kindness into my day, I then felt inspired to do more and reach more people.

How do you show yourself kindness?

Can you find time to slot a little more into your day?

Can you afford not to?

My tip is to just start – add one moment of self kindness into your day. It’s not always easy, but allowing yourself some ‘me’ time will show your body and the people around you how important it is.

It’s so important to reflect, recharge and realise how important we are.

Next prompt is all about observing kindness around you – check back in a week to see how I got on.

Want to jump on board the kindness train?

Check out Niki’s blog – The Richness of a Simple Life for all the details.

The Liebster Award

May 13, 2016August 26, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 2 Comments

How exciting to be nominated for an award – I’m just so happy people are reading my ramblings and enjoying them.

I was nominated (err…last month, I do apologise for the delay) by the lovely MimiTa from Musings of a Blueberry. She describes herself as the quirky girl next door who’s into good vibes, all things cultural, kittens and pretty much anything on the planet! You should check out her blog for a quick fix of poetry, quotes, life hacks and…well, musings.

Thankyou MimiTa 🙂

There’s a bunch of things you’re supposed to do once nominated…

Thank the blogger who nominated you – why would you not?

Display the award somewhere on your blog, or at the very least your post – I used this link

Answer a set of 11 questions provided by the blogger who nominated you – scary!

Post 11 random facts about yourself – even scarier!

Nominate 11 blogs of your choosing with less than 1000 followers – exciting!

Create your own set of questions for your nominees to answer – or use mine

So, let’s get this party started…

How did you get into blogging?

I felt I had a story to share. I was familiar with ‘rock bottom’ and had been through the experience of recreating a stronger, more authentic version of myself. I wanted to encourage others and writing about it on a blog seemed the easiest way to do it.

What are your thoughts on writing, creating art, and being a blogger?

As a therapeutic practitioner I spend most of my days being creative and as a blogger, spend most of my evenings writing. It’s hard juggling both – but it makes my soul sing and that feels right.

What do you think about blogger stats?

I probably pay more attention to them than I should – but I am interested to see if people enjoy my writing and I love connecting with the people who comment.

What are your thoughts on art, poetry, and music?

Similar answer to previously – I create art and poetry on a regular basis and love being inspired by it. But music, I could not live without. I’m a bit of a mixed bag – heavy metal, jazz, 80’s hair metal, 90’s house/hip hop, movie soundtracks – depends what mood I’m in.

What do you hope to achieve (though this blog and/or in your life)?

I write to inspire people to go and do stuff that makes them feel happy and confident in themselves – so I guess I’d like to find more ways to do this. I would also love to find a tribe of like-minded gals who inspire each other to create what makes their soul sing. I’d like to wake up and be excited about what my day could look like if I had both of these things

What is your “happy spot” in life?

My kids. If they’re happy, I’m happy. Failing that – a nice cocktail bar!

How would you describe yourself using a poem? Or, if you prefer, list 5 words that you would use to describe yourself and say why. AND did I forget to mention…if you pick the second option, these 5 words must all start with different letters of the alphabet!

Caring – I’m genuinely interested in how you are

Reflective – I love looking back and wondering about stuff I’ve done

Observant – I notice stuff

Grateful – I’m very thankful for my life

Feminine – I like flowers, pretty things and dressing like a sexy lady

What is your prime time to work, and what do you think about having a “prime” working time?

I produce my best work when I’m inspired. I find it hard to create on demand and dislike routines immensely. I believe everyone is different when it comes to work ethics – you have to find out what environment, noise level, time of day etc works for you.

How do you balance everything—life, blogging, your social life, etc?

Like a novice juggler, wearing heels, blindfolded, balancing on a tightrope in a hurricane – ie. I do the best I can, when I can, with what I’ve got!

What are you passionate about? Any issues? Pet peeves? Current events? Hobbies? Artists? Irksome people?

Smiles! I am passionate about making people smile. My aim in life is to help people, especially young people, find what makes them happy and encourage them to do more of it! If I can help you feel just a tiny bit better about yourself I. Am. Happy.

What are 3 positive things about yourself? (Everyone needs a bit of self-encouragement, ya know?)

I’m a good listener, I’m hard working and I give lots of compliments.

Random things you need to know about me…

I have tiny feet (Uk Size 3)

I have tattoos

My first ever crush was Marty McFly (Michael J Fox) in Back to the Future

I think motorbikes are sexy

I am a sushi whore

I have a thing for handbags – read about it here

I’ve been with Hubby since I was 15 years old (nearly 30 years!)

I recently became a bit of a gym bunny

I love reading teenage fiction

I wear red lipstick nearly every day

I always sleep naked

Blogs worthy of a nomination…

I’ve not been around that long, so haven’t got 11 blogs to recommend – however these beauties caught my eye so I thought I’d share them.

Alice at Help Down The Rabbit Hole – writes about life, her experiences and offers from the heart insights and advice. Her website is so cute (not to mention the name), clean and uncluttered. Check her out.

My lovely three is a brand new, outta the box blog – ‘mom’ shares every day musings and gratitude for her three cheerleaders. There is something so lovely about the way she writes about finding the beauty in the everyday stuff.

The Princess and the Blog is where Noelle shares all her knowledge about blogs and encourages you to go after your dreams – all sprinkled with a little Disney. Not going to lie this blog is so amazing I’m surprised she hasn’t already been nominated for this award (apologies if you have!)

Things I need to know about you…

What inspired you to start a blog?

Do you have a routine when constructing blog posts? ie draft, edit, add photos etc – or are you more of a ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ kinda gal?

What’s the one thing that you have to do every single day, without fail?

What’s the kindest thing you have ever done for someone or that someone has done for you?

What things do you do when you’re feeling uninspired, struggling for ideas or overcoming writers block?

Name one thing that you are known for – answers must be nice things only!

What’s the most important quality you believe a friend should have?

Name 3 things you are grateful for right now.

What’s your mission statement or mantra that you live by?

What misconceptions do you think people who don’t blog, have about bloggers?

Name your superpower and tell me what colour would your cape be?

I apologise if you’ve already been nominated or this just isn’t your bag, baby – it’s totally okay to ignore it!

Otherwise I cannot wait to get you know better – drop me a message when you post. And enjoy 🙂

Not Your Average Fish fingers @ Hogarths

May 12, 2016September 4, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 3 Comments

Spontaneous lunches are always a fabulous idea in my book. After an hour in the gym, Hubby and I were suitably famished so set off in search of local food.

Hogarths is situated just outside Solihull, West Midlands and sits in 30 acres of beautifully landscaped grounds and woodlands (it even has a secret private island for weddings!)

When you arrive, after following the long driveway to the entrance, you are greeted by Mr Gilroy. This steel sculpture by Ray Lonsdale is breathtakingly beautiful and placed as a stark reminder of how the horrors of war changed young people forever. I’m told it’s one of Hogarths most photographed features.

Mr Gilroy isn’t Hogarths only sculpture; in fact there are many contemporary pieces of art throughout the hotel and grounds. I noticed that apples are a common theme, with each piece as individual as the next.

The staff are welcoming and quietly attentive giving the whole place a relaxed, yet proficient atmosphere.

The hotel itself has a fresh, vibrant feel to it with a bright colour scheme incorporating purples, pinks and lime green. Trust me – it works.

The restaurant (Bar8 brasserie) and hotel have won a number of awards over the years including Good Hotel in 2015 and Midlands winner of hotel restaurant of the year.

We sat in the champagne bar, with fabulous lighting (which was needed as it was a grey and miserable wet day) and started with a coffee.

The restaurant has a full A la Carte menu whilst the bar boasts a great selection of sandwiches, hot things, light bites and afternoon teas. Hubby and I both settled for a fish finger with tartar sauce sandwich…

…and the most amazing triple cooked, not to mention enormous chips that were perfectly crispy on the outside whilst light and fluffy inside.

I can recommend Hogarths if you’re in the neighbourhood – we fully enjoyed our impromptu lunch and have even been back in the last week to partake of the fish fingers again!

Hogarths

Four Ashes Road
Dorridge, Solihull
West Midlands
B93 8QE

This meal was not complimentary and I did not receive any reward for this review. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this post are my own and all photographs were taken by me unless otherwise stated.

The Kindness Challenge

May 9, 2016July 4, 2016 ~ Nicky M ~ 5 Comments

I’m always up for a challenge and this one seemed right up my sparkly, glitter sprinkled street!

I’m a firm believer that kindness is something we could all benefit from – both receiving and giving it. Too many people are only concerned with their lives and don’t see what’s going on around them.

Let’s be honest – we could all live in an egocentric world where it was all about us – that would be easy; do what we want, when we want every single day.

But real strength lies in putting others first sometimes, being kind without exception and doing things for no reward other than the smile it produces. I say strength, because not everyone has the skill.

A large part of my role is teaching children to have empathy. Some young people find it incredibly difficult to see things from another’s point of view, share or compromise. It’s a skill that has to be learned early on and some sadly, don’t get that chance. As a therapeutic worker, it’s my job to gently encourage and help them understand both their own, and other peoples’ feelings and strategies for getting along.

Doing things for others, increases our own happiness; it encourages gratitude and a positive outlook in life and helps us develop our values. These things all aid us in gaining a stronger sense of self – which in turn leads to confidence and great self esteem.

This challenge aims to focus on a different aspect of kindness each week.

Week 1: Start your day with kindness

Here are a few ways I will be slipping a little kindness into my early morning routine:

Setting my intention for the day – keeping my mind focused on the positives, including my thoughts
Affirmations – just saying the words, “I am kind” out loud can help to change your thoughts and perspectives
Notice acts of kindness – train your mind to look for these moments
Plan to do 1 kind thing today; for myself or someone else – when you have a goal, you are more likely to succeed

I’ll write a post at the end of week documenting how I got on.

For now – I’ll leave you with one of my thoughts…