Years ago, I used to play a game with myself.
It was called ‘Things I did in my other life’.
Let me give you a little more information. At the time I was working evenings and weekends, whilst studying during the week to become a teaching assistant plus taking care of three small children. Hubby was working long hours to pay the bills. We were burning the candle at both ends just to survive, like so many families do…you get the idea.
Anyway, back to my game.
In my darkest, frustrating, unhappy moments I would imagine what my life could be like if things were different or I was a different person. When I saw something I couldn’t afford, or a place I could only dream of visiting or an experience I had zero chance of having I would simply say to myself ‘In my other life I’d have that’.
Ridiculous I know.
However, it was a way for me to enjoy something from afar without becoming too hung up on all the things I didn’t have.
I was visualising a better life without realising it.
It gave me hope and a belief to hold onto; that things wouldn’t always be this way and I needed that, because we were working so hard for things to be different.
Holly from Holly Wren Spaulding wrote a post recently called what would happen if… and it reminded me of my little game.
What could our lives could be like if we imagined them to be beautiful and fulfilling, having gratitude for all we had?
What if we saw the lessons life wanted us to experience and learned that we are enough just as we are?
What if we were to let go of our expectations, stress and negative thoughts and spent our energy embracing the things that brought us enjoyment and excitement?
Not in another life, but right here, right now in this one.
Imagine a life where we could choose to:
Speak only words of kindness
Find something to get excited about every day
Say yes more often than no
Make friends with anyone, anywhere without fear
Wear a beautiful dress, just because
Treat our spouses like we did when we first fell in love
Like what we see in the mirror
Honour our values
Slow down when we need to
Spend time making ourselves happy
Notice the little things
Just breathe
Instead of replicating others’ lives, comparing ourselves or doing what we feel we should, how about we take a shot at listening to our own hearts, being authentic, or forging our own paths?
What would that look like?
Any thoughts? Let me know below…
The Shimmer Within Her 
Loved reading this. Thanks for writing this. 🙂
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Thanks for taking the time to comment 🙂
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Love this so much! Thanks for sharing. I am guilty of this, as I’m sure we all are. I need to be more mindful and appreciative of what’s going on in my own life.
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I agree – but it’s good to have a bit of fun too 🙂
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Great post. You must strive for such a life, and you will make it.You will attract such a life, I am sure.
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Thanks for taking the time to comment 🙂
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I like your thoughts. Almost like a utopian world made possible simply by embracing the possibility that such a thing can actually exist. So much of what we can accomplish simply comes from having the right frame of mind to A) See the possibilities, and B) Have the courage to realize that we can achieve almost anything we put our minds to. Doesn’t always make life easy, but, at least provides some cushion for the dark days in knowing that there is always a better way.
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Sometimes we just need to escape from the day to day a little. And who knows, one day it may all become real 🙂
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Hi Nicky,
So glad I came across your post – I have overcome anxiety by taking action and concentrating on the here and now in a positive way. I am glad to hear that you think the way you do and share how humans can take these steps to becoming happier 🙂
Are you still a teaching assistant? I am a TA and would love to hear your what you think of it as a job. Take care, Sarah x
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Glad to meet you 💛 I still work in a school but I am part of a pastoral team, working therapeutically with children with emotional & social difficulties.
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Love this. I used to do this and still do sometimes when my anxieties very bad. Makes you realise change starts from yourself. If we all concentrated on becoming the best versions of ourselves, we’d live in a kinder and more fulfilling world.
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You are so right! It’s good to have a strategy for when anxieties are there – and what better than to put together a fabulous, purely fictional life!
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The words that connect in this moment, most of all: Just breathe. Thank you.
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I love those little nudges we get from the universe – they sit deep within our soul don’t they? 🙂
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I love this! When I was younger I would keep magazine clippings of what I want my dream house to look like, now I have Pinterest for that! I am grateful for the things that I have, but I am a dreamer, and I think that’s okay too! 🙂
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It’s definitely okay! I love Pinterest – but remember fondly the days of scrapbooks and mood boards! It’s good to dream 💛
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Oh, I still scrapbook, and I kept some of the little things I’ve made over the years! 🙂
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Me too! It’s great to have an outlet for all that creativity that hums deep within our soul! Happy days 🙂
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Such a wonderful post with great little nuggets of wisdom. it reminded me of one I wrote. I think you might enjoy it😊
https://reallifeofanmsw.com/2015/11/24/perspective-pages-of-a-career-journal
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Thankyou – will check out your post too 🙂
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Well I’ve recently been forging my own path in university and I can say it’s very soothing to be studying what I care about, befriending the people I want to, and so on. I was a little nerve-wracked in the beginning when everyone else seemed to have a ton of friends, and I only had one, but I’ve come to terms with it now.
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And better to have one true friend than lots of people you know, but don’t know well I think. Be proud of all you are accomplishing – it’s all part of a bigger future for you 💛
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Oh my gosh thank you so much for your kind words and support, I really needed to hear this right now 🙂
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I am here 💛
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Lovely thoughts Nicky. I hope you have more time to relax these days.
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Errr….sometimes! Thankyou 🙂
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Wonderful post and quote.
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Thankyou, I thought it was a great quote too 🙂
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There would be a lot less pain, guilt,sadness and unrealistic expectation. Very well written and thought provoking post.
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Thanks Miriam, for taking the time to comment 🙂
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You’re most welcome Nicky.
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I think some people learn to be genuinely happy with themselves as they get a bit happier in their own skin. Others have it at a young age and others never do. For me, it’s been gradual but when I hit 40 last year I was finally able to just like me for who I am (well, perhaps apart from needing to lose a few pounds). It’s enlightening to have self confidence. I feel genuinely happy for other people and want to encourage them. It’s only now I realise that many people just can’t be 100% pleased for others because they’re so hung up on how they match up.
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I totally agree. If everyone focused on themselves and how amazing they are, life may be brighter 🙂
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It sounds like a really fulfilling life full of love and happiness, Nicky. I do that sometimes too.. imagine my life was much better than it was, with me more relaxed.. free from all the stress. It’s heavenly. Haha!
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HaHa – yes, stress free! That sounds amazing! Do what you can 🙂
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