Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful: Understanding

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Ever had one of those moments where you feel like you’re in a movie?

Not long after my brother died, I remember driving along a road looking out of the window at the world going about it’s business. It reminded me of the scene in The Matrix when Keanu Reeves’ character Neo is in the back of the car, having arrived in the matrix for the first time – he watches in wonder as people seemingly unaware of their reality go about their day to day lives – despite none of it being real.

I too was in an alternate reality – one I didn’t know how to navigate yet.

I wanted to scream at people, “Don’t you know my brother just died?” as they walked on by with their so called perfect lives.

When I look back to those days I often wonder was I rude, less than friendly, uncommunicative and generally hard to be around?

Most people would have been understanding and kind had I explained my recent loss.

But I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

⭐️ Think twice before you make an assumption or judge someone

⭐️ Think the best of people without assuming the worse

⭐️ Think how you can improve their day rather than add to their possible stress

We don’t know what people around us are dealing with, what pain they might be living with or what difficult situations are present in their lives.

Can you think of someone who may need a little more empathy on your part? They might be fighting an unseen battle.

In the quest to be your own kind of beautiful – be understanding. One day you may be grateful for someone who is.

🦄 Did you miss any of the previous posts in this series? Why not check out BE YOUR OWN KIND OF BEAUTIFUL, BRAVE, ENTHUSIASTIC, ACCEPTING, UNIQUE, TRUTHFUL, INTEGRITY and FRIENDLY.

 

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11 thoughts on “Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful: Understanding

  1. This is a great reminder for us to be more empathic and non-judgmental. Oftentimes, we react immediately base on how “we” feel not considering what the other person might be going through…thanks for this wonderful post, Nicky! 😊

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  2. This one hit home for me. I lost my mom the day after Christmas, and I remember riding in the car looking around at the families hugging each other and exchanging gifts. I remember having to put down my tablet because everyone on Facebook was posting about how awesome their Christmas was, meanwhile my mom wasn’t even responsive on Christmas day and I had to figure out what to do with her presents!! I wanted to scream because during that time my world stopped spinning. I couldn’t grasp the fact that the world around me was continuing, people were celebrating the way they always had, while I couldn’t even look anyone in the eyes without breaking down. It’s been 8 months, and I can’t even type this without sobbing! I still feel guilty for being angry with people for being “insensitive” They weren’t being insensitive. Even my friends and family who knew what I was going through, they shouldn’t have to stop their celebrating just because all I wanted to do was lie on my couch and not move, that’s not fair to them. But as I read your words I instantly wanted to put my arms around you, to comfort you & assure you that it is perfectly normal to feel that in your time of grieving. So I guess I need to let those same words seep in. Why is it that I can always find the words that need to be said to comfort others, but when it comes to myself, I always let the blame fall to me? It was not anyone’s fault that my mom died, I no longer feel angry at people for celebrating, but I too, should not feel guilty for feeling the way I did at that time. A piece of me died too, and I had to adapt to living in a world without my biggest supporter & life long friend. I’m still learning how to go on without her, some days it takes all of my energy just to leave my house. I haven’t lost a sibling, so I can only empathize with you as far as that goes, because I would be lost without my brother, I think that might be a harder concept for my to grasp than the loss of my mother. My brother is my best friend! Anyway, hugs to you friend, and as always, thank you for sharing!

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    1. How I wish you lived down the road from me so I could hug you tight. You learn so much about yourself in grief. It’s way more than just being sad. People move on, forget you are in pain and moan about their day to day and the whole time you are like “Really. This is all you have to worry about?” The words you said made me cry. Not because they upset me, but because you understand. Even the people closest to me don’t truly understand – how can they until they are in this position. Listen to the words you said to me and take them to heart. Be kind to yourself and remember there is no ‘right way’ to grieve. It just is. Hugs 💛

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