Why you should embrace the glorious mess that you are


The person you are right now was shaped, created and moulded by all of your experiences up to this point.

Everything you have gone through, watched, felt, lived and thought about has become a part of you somehow. Every negative thought, behaviour and suffering has embedded itself in your DNA and has had an effect on who you are today.

I went through a difficult time a few years ago so I truly understand the effect these experiences can have.

I felt a failure after the death of my younger brother because I didn’t function properly for months and crumbled under the pressure to ‘get over it’.

I hated feeling sad. I mean I really disliked it. I would get cross with myself because I couldn’t control my feelings nor stem the tears that flowed, some days without stopping.

I felt embarrassed because I couldn’t say my brothers name without getting upset.

I felt uncomfortable for the people who tried to show me kindness but who eventually found me too difficult to be around and so stopped trying.

I would get angry when people would moan about insignificant, mundane stuff because I wished that was all I had to moan about.

I hated all of these negative feelings; I tried to push them deep down and not acknowledge them. I tried to not think about them.

The truth is, I can never forget them. Never forget what I have been through and how these experiences shaped me.

Now I understand that it was simply part of my journey.


You will have been on your own journey; experienced your own hurts, made difficult choices and plans will have gone askew.

You can never forget what has happened to you, replace it or pretend it didn’t happen. And why would you? It is a part of you.

Remember that.

⭐️ If you feel sad. Feel it. Really sit with it for a moment and ‘be sad’. Acknowledge that it’s there and that right now it is a part of you.

Eventually it will ease and you will develop gratitude as you understand the importance of being thankful for what we have right now. You will be aware of what is really important in life. 

⭐️ If you are confused. Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that you don’t have the answers or know what to do. Then take a step back and allow yourself to come to an understanding when the time is right.

In time you will be more decisive; taking the time to see all the options and the make the right choices for you. You will become really clear on what you want and how to get it.

⭐️ If you are hurting. Feel the hurt. Let it in and acknowledge that something has caused you to feel this way. It’s okay.

Over time you will develop empathy. You will ‘grow’ compassion, as you understand that everyone has stuff they are going through.

These feelings are not a sign of weakness nor something to be embarrassed about. They are teachers. They can help us learn and grow and change. They are as important as all the positive, good stuff that happens in our lives.

Life is a balance of both.

You cannot have the rainbow without the rain.

You are the culmination of all of these feelings.

Remember that.

They made you. You experienced them all and they are part of you. They strengthen you and in time you will grow.

After all, you have survived every day up to this point.


The unique individual you see in the mirror and the beautiful soul that you are.


The glorious mess that is you.

Remember that.



17 thoughts on “Why you should embrace the glorious mess that you are

  1. My condolences go out to you in your family. Back in 2009 I experienced a tragic loss of a good friend. Out of all things people said I remember one thing. The advice of my friend, she said give it two weeks & you will be “over it.” It’s been 7 years I still have gotten over it, but it does get better every day. I wish I read this back then. Thanks for sharing .


  2. You are such a caring, wise person with the kindest soul Nicky. Thank you so much for this reminder that you have worded in such a beautiful way. Your words have really touched me and truly hit a nerve.

    Peta xx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah we do. It’s so easy to forget to appreciate what you’re all about and how miraculous it is to still be here through it all. But when you do remember…doesn’t it just take your breath away? 🙂


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