I would never, ever describe myself as a control freak.
However recently I experienced what it’s like to feel helpless, vulnerable and reliant on others. After what shall forever be known as ‘the dumbbell incident’ which resulted in a broken metatarsal, I got to experience these things first hand.
And I learned a lot. About myself, my feelings and my needs.
I take things for granted –walking, wearing shoes, living pain free.
I’m concerned about others perception of me – do they see me as lazy, a fake, are they angry as I’ve created more work for them?
Frustration and guilt are very real emotions – hard to live with when you’re normally a very positive person.
My mind enjoys being occupied – Oh the joys of having something to do, something to take your mind off the situation, get excited about.
I need to go outside – I love being in the fresh air.
Not everyone is sympathetic – this one was a real eye opener. People have their own stuff going on, sometimes they don’t have the capacity for your stuff as well.
Shoes play a very big part in my life – the enormous plastic ‘boot’ I could cope with. The flat heels and ‘uncoordinated with my outfit’ I can not.
Some of the lessons I learned were huge for me – I’m a reflector, I love nothing more than analysing what it is about a situation that makes me feel or act a certain way. But some of those feelings and realisations were pretty darn uncomfortable.
I had to learn to ‘just be’. Accepting my situation for what it was whether I liked it or not.
I’ve chosen to look upon these lessons as valuable opportunities for growth and learning, even though they were unexpected.
Life sends lessons our way when we least expect them, but I wonder if perhaps the universe is a good judge of when we need them most.
Today notice your feelings. Explore what makes you tick, what makes you feel uncomfortable and wonder why.