In My Other Life…

~ Nicky M

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Years ago, I used to play a game with myself.

It was called ‘Things I did in my other life’.

Let me give you a little more information. At the time I was working evenings and weekends, whilst studying during the week to become a teaching assistant plus taking care of three small children. Hubby was working long hours to pay the bills. We were burning the candle at both ends just to survive, like so many families do…you get the idea.

Anyway, back to my game.

In my darkest, frustrating, unhappy moments I would imagine what my life could be like if things were different or I was a different person. When I saw something I couldn’t afford, or a place I could only dream of visiting or an experience I had zero chance of having I would simply say to myself ‘In my other life I’d have that’.

Ridiculous I know.

However, it was a way for me to enjoy something from afar without becoming too hung up on all the things I didn’t have.

I was visualising a better life without realising it.

It gave me hope and a belief to hold onto; that things wouldn’t always be this way and I needed that, because we were working so hard for things to be different.

Holly from Holly Wren Spaulding wrote a post recently called what would happen if… and  it reminded me of my little game.

What could our lives could be like if we imagined them to be beautiful and fulfilling, having gratitude for all we had?

What if we saw the lessons life wanted us to experience and learned that we are enough just as we are?

What if we were to let go of our expectations, stress and negative thoughts and spent our energy embracing the things that brought us enjoyment and excitement?

Not in another life, but right here, right now in this one.

Imagine a life where we could choose to:

Speak only words of kindness

Find something to get excited about every day

Say yes more often than no

Make friends with anyone, anywhere without fear

Wear a beautiful dress, just because

Treat our spouses like we did when we first fell in love

Like what we see in the mirror

Honour our values

Slow down when we need to

Spend time making ourselves happy

Notice the little things

Just breathe

Instead of replicating others’ lives, comparing ourselves or doing what we feel we should, how about we take a shot at listening to our own hearts, being authentic, or forging our own paths?

What would that look like?

Any thoughts? Let me know below…

 

35 thoughts on “In My Other Life…”

  4. I like your thoughts. Almost like a utopian world made possible simply by embracing the possibility that such a thing can actually exist. So much of what we can accomplish simply comes from having the right frame of mind to A) See the possibilities, and B) Have the courage to realize that we can achieve almost anything we put our minds to. Doesn’t always make life easy, but, at least provides some cushion for the dark days in knowing that there is always a better way.

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  5. Hi Nicky,
    So glad I came across your post – I have overcome anxiety by taking action and concentrating on the here and now in a positive way. I am glad to hear that you think the way you do and share how humans can take these steps to becoming happier 🙂
    Are you still a teaching assistant? I am a TA and would love to hear your what you think of it as a job. Take care, Sarah x

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    1. Glad to meet you 💛 I still work in a school but I am part of a pastoral team, working therapeutically with children with emotional & social difficulties.

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  6. Love this. I used to do this and still do sometimes when my anxieties very bad. Makes you realise change starts from yourself. If we all concentrated on becoming the best versions of ourselves, we’d live in a kinder and more fulfilling world.

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  8. I love this! When I was younger I would keep magazine clippings of what I want my dream house to look like, now I have Pinterest for that! I am grateful for the things that I have, but I am a dreamer, and I think that’s okay too! 🙂

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  10. Well I’ve recently been forging my own path in university and I can say it’s very soothing to be studying what I care about, befriending the people I want to, and so on. I was a little nerve-wracked in the beginning when everyone else seemed to have a ton of friends, and I only had one, but I’ve come to terms with it now.

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  14. I think some people learn to be genuinely happy with themselves as they get a bit happier in their own skin. Others have it at a young age and others never do. For me, it’s been gradual but when I hit 40 last year I was finally able to just like me for who I am (well, perhaps apart from needing to lose a few pounds). It’s enlightening to have self confidence. I feel genuinely happy for other people and want to encourage them. It’s only now I realise that many people just can’t be 100% pleased for others because they’re so hung up on how they match up.

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  15. It sounds like a really fulfilling life full of love and happiness, Nicky. I do that sometimes too.. imagine my life was much better than it was, with me more relaxed.. free from all the stress. It’s heavenly. Haha!

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